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Today’s weather is so pretty I want to lock it in my basement until it tells me it loves me
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I like to think they participate in the World Series of Hugging during the offseason.
WE’RE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES! AHHHH!!!!
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Taking superstition to a whole new level. LET’S GO GIANTS!!!!
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I like my men like I like my trees: sappy as fuck!
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Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, “I’m not going to make it,” but you laugh inside remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.
– Charles Bukowski -
I hate that we live in the kind of world where you can’t just heat a grape in the microwave without it getting all plasma-y and shit!
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Possible Halloween costume: dressing up as a teabagger. If only I had the BALLS.
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HAI GUYZ
Lindsay: “Mommy, What Will I Look Like?” should have worked.
Narrator: Lindsay had once started a photo-enhancing service which gave new parents a glimpse at what their infants would look like in half a century.
Lindsay: Hey, you put an ugly kid in, you can’t be surprised when an ugly adult comes out.
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Today I got a “don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re a robot baby.”
I think instantly imagining a battery-powered doll’s head qualifies as taking it the wrong way.
The man in question claims he meant it as a compliment, but it doesn’t matter either way! Homeboy’s a fool for thinking he can teach a robot to love!
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A step up from the Keystone Light soap I’ve been using.
